symon

if you're torn between suicide and seeing nobel son, i suggest cutting deep.

accepted by the ninth letter!

voted!

andy farkas (you remember good ol' andy farkas, right?) won the 2008 Subito Press book contest.

his collection, Self-Titled Debut, should be out in 2009 sometime somewhere.

it's all pretty fucking awesome and all.

also, Son of Rambow is probably the best movie since movies.

really.

dear memorial day gasoline:
dear v parents, sponsors of gasoline:

fuck you in the neck.
you're my favorite of anything.

& why don't people give v and i free couches for sleeping post m wedding?

new york hotels cost money we write hard to not have enough of.

stupid best city.

you and what army?

from gunn

What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded. (How the heck can you make a list like that? Line up all the phony intellectual douchebags and ask?) Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish. I'm putting a star next to the ones I actually own.

*Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
*Anna Karenina
*Crime and Punishment
*Catch-22
*One Hundred Years of Solitude (currently reading)
*Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
*The Name of the Rose
*Don Quixote
*Moby Dick
*Ulysses (restarting in june with v)
*Madame Bovary
*The Odyssey
*Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
*The Tale of Two Cities
*The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
*Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
*The Iliad
*Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
*Mrs. Dalloway
*Great Expectations
*American Gods
*A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
*Atlas Shrugged (i'm far too ashamed to admit how many times)
*Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
*Middlesex
*Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
*The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
*A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
*Love in the Time of Cholera
*Brave New World
*The Fountainhead
*Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
*Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
*A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
*The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
*1984
Angels & Demons
*The Inferno
*The Satanic Verses
*Sense and Sensibility
*The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
*One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
*Tess of the D’Urbervilles
*Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
*Les Misérables
*The Corrections (fuck franzen. really)
*The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
*The Prince
*The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
*A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
*Neverwhere
*A Confederacy of Dunces
*A Short History of Nearly Everything
*Dubliners
*The Unbearable Lightness of Being (just finished for the second time yesterday.)
*Beloved
*Slaughterhouse-five
*The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
*Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
*Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
*The Catcher in the Rye
*On the Road
*The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
*Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
*The Aeneid
Watership Down
***Gravity’s Rainbow (the best of best. been through it 4 times now.)
The Hobbit
*In Cold Blood
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

i got married last week. eleven days ago, actually, at the little white chapel in vegas.

this is a very important thing.

anyway, there's a lot. this is a very important thing.


you weren't invited to the ceremony because no one was invited to the ceremony. i mention this only because i don't want you to feel slighted for hearing about it only afterwards. i didn't invite my mother, not even mordicai. we only had one witness. i'm not sure if that's legal, really.

this was all crucial to the very important thing of it.

_____________________________________________________________________________

this has been my problem:

you have a one. you have an other one.
one says to the other one and the other one understands. this is sure.

but this isn't clear.

the one says circle and the other thinks ring. the other says ring, the one thinks theresa banks. the one says theresa banks and the other is uncertain.

this is less clear.
_____________________________________________________________________________

here:

you have the one.
the one is all the things the one has been.
the one is all the things the one has known.
the one knows first all the things the one has known best.
et cetera.

and you have the other one.
the other one is all the things the other one has been.
the other one is all the things the other one has known.
et cetera.

so the one is this thing of one's concepts, experiences, et ceteras and the other one is this thing of the other one's concepts, experiences, et ceteras. these sound very similar, i know, but they are, of course, none of them, mutual.

_____________________________________________________________________________


so it's like this:

one has a thing to say to the other:

the one finds a concept wrought of personal experience, which he translates into a word, which is an abstraction, a potpourri of experienced sensations (which the brain itself didn't experience) attached to a memorized definition, another aggregate of unexperienced experience.

the other hears the word, which relates to a memorized definition, which recalls a kludge of experiences, which settles on an abstracted concept wrought of the other's personal experience which has been prioritized according to special pains and special tickles.

so the one's circle lands in the other's ring and we're never clear on anything.

so how do i love you when we can't experience the same i, love, or you? how can i be with you if between us is everything behind us in language we can't understand? how do i snatch you away, give you a concept straightaway, unmediated, untranslated? how do we keep nietzsche from between us? how do we outdance wittgenstein?

we don't.

it's all symbols and translations as far as we can't actually see.

so i love you my i and my love and my you and you your i et al and it's all a real thing in mind but outwardly noises, actions, all sensory electrics and nothing at all.

_____________________________________________________________________________

so we take a symbol.

we subtract the omnisubjective experience by subtracting the guests, the families, the DVDs and photos and outside experience of an internal experience while we accept the omnisubjective interpretation of the symbol by adopting its icons:





so i gave the symbol my i love you and she gave it hers and no one else gave it anything at all.

_____________________________________________________________________________

this is all very unclear. i just don't know from clear.

soon, maybe a narrative of the week will resolve. and pictures. and a reception bit in ohio.

to albuquerque!

to tuscaloosa!

to myrtle beach!

anyone read greek? (ryan?)

i'm positive it's this:
Ἀπόλλων
Διώνυσος

but now somebody has tell me they're positive too.


meanwhile:
chess
bumble bees
75 degrees
sun sun sun
chocolate banana cupcakes in the oven
peanut butter frosting in the bowl
beater on my tongue
v with a mohawk
t with a basquiat t-shirt
birth of tragedy again to be sure
and jesus christ superstar on vinyl

new tattoos?

if you're looking forward to the twentieth century, i suggest you see starting out in the evening. hooray for moral emotions!

meanwhile, i make everything okay:

s'where i live:

here on the other side of the moon, we have 20 degrees cooler and shit in our brains. we go see hedwig and the angry inch in raleigh. i drink to cupcakes. v, bewigged, stirs.

so far:
university of alabama = yes + (awesome) assistantship.
university of colorado = yes - assistantship.

still need:
university of washington
notre dame
brown

anyway, here's t and v:

escaping the deadlands.

all at once, count to three, we ran away. my sister, kids in tow, to laguna beach for her pot of gold, me, southly, south to carrboro, north carolina for a book at the end of lane.

and poor mum ever at the port waving her scarf. she’s up to her knees in snow now, frozen solid.

i tricked my school. said i have to take a walk. said i have to take a break. i’ll be right back. i said. and they said go. even gave me money. said i’d trade them for a thesis.

so i have this big apartment in this liberal town with a study upstairs and super scrabble down. and there’s this lady here. this perfect little thing. she says she’ll follow, writing her pointilistic prose poem novel. we call her v. my evil twin. perfect.

i have applications at all the wacky schools. brown and alabama, colorado @ boulder, notre dame. etc. and etc. spent all year knowing the faculty, vazing the cracks. i have stories at all the crazy journals, 15 of them anyway, just sent yesterday. who knows and holding breath. this is what i do: knows who, holds breath.

guess i don’t know anyone anymore. haven’t smoked in a year. there’s me and the girl reading, yelling about books, writing, editing. super scrabbling. i died of lucky charms yesterday, was revived by red bull. once a week it’s time for project runway.

this is a good life.